The Michael Phelps drinking game

The Olympics have been in full swing for almost a week now. Due to some ridiculous end-of-summer schedule insanity (must fit this in before it’s 30 degrees again!), I haven’t been able to watch as much as I’d have liked, yet somehow, I always manage to catch what seem to be some of the most significant Olympic moments I read about on the paper the next day. (Notice I said “on the paper,” not “in,” as I read it online. This should be a new phrase, no? I read it “on the paper,” that’s not really, er, paper at all.)

Right, so, if you watch enough swimming, specifically, ones involving the Almighty Michael Phelps, a new world record is shattered nearly every time. My roommate thinks it gets old (see her post here, and its terrific graphic I’ll refrain from stealing). I like my roommate’s idea that world records will become shorter and shorter until they disappear. To the idea of consistently breaking records until they become less exciting or significant each time, I kinda disagree. A good Times editorial today points out, “The records are merely place marks — a sign not of human performance alone but of human performance at that technological moment”.

So, if you consider swimming record-breaking as an example, each new low time demonstrates the ability not only of the swimmer, but also of: the pool engineer, the swimsuit designer, stroke analysis equipment constructors (I think this exists?), and lots of other tools I’m surely unaware of. It’s a glorious amalgamation of years of human progress. Technology combined with sheer human drive, and maybe some good bone/muscle structure thrown in, and dusty world records don’t stand a chance.

Bringing me to: the Michael Phelps drinking game. If you watch any swimming event, whether Phelps is in it or not, you’ll hear the commentators mention his name at least once every 10 seconds or so (and that’s being generous). Depending on what kind of night you’re feelin’, that’s one hardcore drinking game. Not that I condone such things, but y’know, if you’re into that kinda thing…